A friend asked me to write about rainbows.
This is the piece I come up with.

Rainbows

It's elementary
How this diversionary
Quite simple burglary of the senses
Can be so extraordinary
Yet oh so ordinary
And lead to this simple statement:

I like rain.

Now I don't mean for this piece to revolve around moodiness.
Or the South Korean entertainer of the same name that has ridiculous abs
that look nothing like mine and set me into the previously mentioned
state of moodiness...

Call this a love poem.
Or a processionary
Somewhat rudimentary
At times tumultuary
Piece of gallantry.

...let's just stick with calling it a love poem.
To my favorite natural occurence.

That thing that we sing in
We dance in
We splash around in
Makeout in
And for some people get some heavy petting done in.
Given enough time, it's guaranteed to make anybody wet.

See, I'm a fan of the rythm.
Drop.
Drop.
It starts up slowly.
Gives you time to notice the change of the wind, the sweeping of the clouds,
the cooling of the air.

Drops turns to pitter patter.

People head for cover as the pitter patters turn into a torrential downpour
of liquid precipation formed by the condensation of atmospheric water vapor
into drops of water
and just
before
you realize I just taught you something scientific...

it stops.

silence.
peaceful silence.
drip.
drip.

For some reason I find myself thinking about physical contact
with a woman in the form of sexual intercourse.

Oh let your drops caress every inch of my body and leave me breathless
with your majestic beauty.

That was about the rain.
Rainbows.
They're pretty.
They remind me that everything's gonna be alright and to relax and just
take a break.

Refractory period.
Now that's a blatant sexual reference.
To be honest, I lost track of any meaningful point I wanted to get across
with this piece.
Probably when I said "it".

I think I'll just go get myself a cup of tea now.

-----------------------------

Rough cut.
Just put this together in the last half hour or so.
Ideally it's broken down in a way so that when you read it, you can get the cadence I'm aiming for.

Dating Manual (Outline)

-Foreword/pep talk
-Confidence (sharks)
-The Approach pt.1: positive body signals (eye contact/smiles)
-The Approach pt.2: bartender is your friend
-The Approach pt.3: competition
-The Approach pt.4: bodyguards (women rarely travel alone)
-The Approach pt.5: non-bar/club settings
-Rejection, it's okay
-The Conversation pt.1: Her, her, her (be aware of surroundings)
-The Conversation pt.2.: positive signals
-The Conversation pt.3: negative signals/when to walk away
-Seriously, rejection's okay
-The Conversation pt.4: get contact info
-Now what? Proper sober contact etiquette
-First Date
-Oh crap! More dates?!
-Closing/Words of encouragement

--------------------------

at the least, a rough edit.
probably find myself posting a few snippets in the following day(s).

A letter to the next woman to catch my interest.

SNORE

"S" is for the sunshine your smile brings to my life.
"N" is for the night when I find myself thinking of you.
"O" is for the other time I find myself thinking of you, day.
"R" is for Reggie, in case you forgot my name.
"E" is for enchanting, the way your laugh rings in my ear.

But I like to think it's more than my friend's snoring that's keeping me up and wondering what
you're doing.
It's one of the constants in my current life.
Breathing.
Eating.
Drinking.
Regular bowel movements.
Thinking of you.

And I like to think that I'm not the only one that gets excited about hearing that notification
sound for a new text.
Hoping it belongs to you.
Being disappointed it's just your roommate needing a ride home from work.

Or your mother.
Who is letting you know that her plane touched down safely.
Sure it's been almost half a year since I've seen her.
But there's only one thing I want to hold in my arms right now.

You.
And cash.

So that's two things.
But the cash is ideal because it'll let me spoil you proper.
The way you deserve.
Because you're a 9.9999.
Add me and you're a perfect 10.

I should've been sleeping 6 hrs. ago.
But you're just running around in my head.
Which probably explains your great legs.
Also, dude snores REALLY loudly.
But yea, still thinking of you.
And how I'd be dreaming of you if it wasn't for the dude passed out in the living room.

Still thinking of you...

Why aren't we dating?

--------------------------

so that's pretty much a shortened version of a spoken word piece I'm working on.
part of my insomnia series.

I figure if this one gets enough attention I'll start posting more.
who knows?
maybe I'll even get inspired to get my guitar an' keyboard out of storage an' start songwriting again.

alternatively, I can take topics from all of you and see what my stream of consciousness comes up with.

Just for fun, the following is a compilation of what I consider the Top 25 sexiest things I've ever been told by a woman.

1 - Your balls look adorable.
2 - I'm not sure how my hand ended up in your crotch.
3 - *lifts up top* these are yours.
4 - I like penguins too.
5 - I skipped my grandmother's funeral to spend time with you.
6 - I got a speeding ticket. (for a booty call)
7 - I'm not wearing panties (said while at church)
8 - get me DRUNK tonight.
9 - I'm a nurse/studying to be one.
10 - I can cook.
11 - Yes.
12 - I don't gag.
13 - I'm on birth control.
14 - I want you sliding in and out of me until we can no longer take the friction.
15 - Ready to fill out that application?
16 - there's a snake between my legs.
17 - Let's forget work an' get back to bed.
18 - Your penis. my mouth. now.
19 - I don't care if my parents are sleeping in the next room.
20 - I'd pay to see you naked.
21 - I'm cooking fried chicken.
22 - I haven't seen your penis, but I'd like to.
23 - *BURP*
24 - I can't find my bra.
25 - I want you more than a stable job.

I lead a boring life.

Newton Faulker: Hand Built by Robots

Released in 2007 but still consistently in my heavy rotation.
It's been awhile since I recommended an album, this would be one of 'em.
I figure it's safe to say it'd be one of my desert island disks.
The following is one of my favorite tracks.
More so because I can identify with it strongly.

Newton Faulkner - I Need Something

I need something to believe in
Cuz I don't believe in myself
And I'm sick and tired
Of getting nowhere
Guess it'll all work out

And I don't mind it anymore
And I don't mind it anymore

And I need someone to put my trust in
Cuz I ain't trusting myself
And I'm scared of failure
So scared of success
Guess it'll all work out

And I don't mind it anymore
And I don't mind it any....more
More...
Oh yeah

I need something to believe in
Cuz I don't believe in myself
And I'm sick and tired
Of getting nowhere
Guess it'll all work out

And I don't mind it anymore
And I don't mind it any....more
More...
Oh yeah

So to keep up with what's starting to seem like an annual tradition, I'm not having any serious dating options at the moment.
I call it bein' fiscally responsible.

I imagine I'll be spending a part of my Valentine's/Singles Awareness Day over at Balboa Park or Seaport Village being aware.

There's one...
There's one...
They'll probably be too by the end of the night.

Some people wonder if I lead a healthy life.

Happy Chinese/Vietnamese New Year!

Also: 60's bash at my bar tonight.
Feel free to join.

Fun commercials this year.

Because it's fun, I celebrated Martin Luther King day with some racial profiling courtesty of North County Law Enforcement.

A routine traffic stop.
Complete with the standard question: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Now normally, I'm very compliant and respectful whenever I get pulled over.
Hands on the steering wheel in plain sight.
Verbally acknowledging everything I'm gonna do before committing them.
i.e. "I'm now going to reach into the glove compartment to grab my registration and proof of insurance for you."

Tonight was different.
I'm not sure if I was just drained from a long week, slightly buzzed, or a combination of the both.
For some reason I found myself in my playful, troublemaking mode that some would refer to as my "charming demeanor".
My pops would refer to that mode as "smartass".

In response, I tell him: "You needed a hug and consolation from the Chargers game?"
Laughter.
Venting.
Mutual bashing of the Raiders.
Eventually he forgets whatever superficial reason it was for pulling me over an' sends me off.

Point of this post?
I found myself thinking of all the possible answer I've ever had for that question but never voiced outloud.

The following would be a partial list:
- Because the sky's blue?
- You thought it was a sexy bitch an' it turned out to be just me?
- Because 4+4 does not equal 29?
- You wanted to confiscate some of my chicken sandwiches?
- To keep one less person away from the donut shop?
- Because your sex is on fire?
- You didn't believe Asians could actually drive well in inclement weather?
- Because I stopped believing?
- *rooster call*
- You were sent from the future to assassinate me?
- Just because?
- You wanted to get my phone number?
- I dated your sister an' broke her heart?
- You needed dry cleaning?
- I'm on candid camera?
- Do I owe you money?
- Because I stole a Watchamacallit bar from 7-11 when I was 8?
- That damn sasquatch.
- Because someone has to.
- To tell me that N'SYNC is coming back together and touring?
- Because the cake is a lie?
- Is it my birthday?
- To tell me I'm doing okay?
- To give you an answer an' have you yell out "wrong!"

Feel free to add to the list.
I don't recommend usin' any of them though.

So I've managed to survive 2010 so far.
Congrats to everyone else reading this.
Apparently you have to.

Been letting the hair grow out since my razor broke last year.
Even had a nice mohawk goin' for New Years Day.
Our bar was holding an 80's theme.

Fu Man Chu's been growing out well also.
Too well in fact.
Keeps getting in my mouth whenever I eat.
I equate it to cunnilingus without any of the benefits for myself.

In case you haven't noticed, there's no life-clarifying moment in this post.
Just a filler 'til I can get around to organizing my thoughts on paper better.

Best wishes to everyone!

[insert semi, non-standard New Year's greeting here]

So for Halloween I was myself with more hair.
I used to keep it shaved until my razor broke.

But yea, this is just another quick filler.
With the childhood home sold off to a nice couple I'm in gypsy mode 'til my brother can land a steady job.
I like to refer to this period as Couch Tour '09.
Or couch quality assessment.

For now, actual dialogue between myself an' one of my friends that serves to remind me I should go to my lady friends for relationship advice.

"So what do you think of the woman I'm dating right now?"
"I'd hit that."
"Well, duh. But what do you think relationship-wise?"
"Umm... I'd hit that hard."

Right.

I need a better costume idea for Halloween than Asian bartender.

Conversations with a Niece Pt. I

Her: Hi Uncle!
Me: Dude! You got tall... I can fart in your face standing up.
Her: *while holding her nose* Ewwwww....
Me: Well I didn't say I was gonna do it now.
Her: *stares*
Me: Can you reach up this high? *up to my chest*
Awesome! Hi-five! Do you remember my name?
Her: *intense thinking* Yes... Uncle Reggie.
Me: Good job! Wanna know something?
Her: What?
Me: I forgot your name.
Her: Boo!
Me: It's cool though, you get a monster hug.
*big ol' hug complete with growling noises*
Her: *the sweet laughter of a child that has no expectations of me*
Me: Wait a second... Is that your boyfriend? He's giving me dirty looks.
Her: Ewww! No! Boys are gross!
Me: Well you keep thinking that way for at least another decade. Your parents will appreciate it.
Her: Huh?
Me: Well, I gotta talk to your mommy an' figure out what your name is now.
----------------------------

Techinically, she's not my niece.
Just my friend's daughter.
She's disgustingly adorable so I adopted the ish out of her.

Is there a point to this post?
Reggie works well with toddlers.
They don't make him feel self-conscious about his writings.

Just checking in to let everyone know I'm still alive.

Foreclosure, such a fun mess.
Also wrapped up hosting a karaoke competition, sung at a bunch of weddings, debuted a few new spoken word pieces in Costa Mesa, wrote a couple new songs, dealing w/ general unemployment, an' starting to date again.

My past month in a nutshell.

Man.
Has it really been a year since I got laid off?
I figure the main reason I started dating again is because I got tired of bein' stressed out by a year of job interviews that lead nowhere and lack of steady income.

At least I can take solace in the fact that Alanis Morrissette's "Ironic" is ironic because none of the examples used in the song are ironic.
That was my life-changing moment of the day.

Things to finish editing an' eventually post:
- Do's & Dont's of dating me
- Two spoken word pieces
- One new song
- Friend's dating profile
- Fillers
- Dating stories?

While editing, I realized I needed to clarify something from my last post.
"home kitchen appliances"
Contrary to popular belief, I do not hold conversations with inanimate objects.
It's just a term I use to describe friends in a nonsensical manner.

It used to be "home skillet" until one of my other friends pointed out that her father likes to use that term alot.
Bein' a fan of originality, I started opting for the use of "home kitchen appliance".
If only for the customizable opportunities given to us.
I called dibs on "home George Foreman grill" already.

Heading back to editor mode.
Some of you actually figured out the e-mail option.
Which, more or less, has inspired me to try to get more of my writings out there.
Including select pieces from my dating manual.
'Cuz apparently I'm holding seminars now.